freaking out!!!

there is currently 87 days until our wedding, my bridal shower/hen's night/girly sleepover is on this Friday, I have sent all the invites out and RSVPs are starting to trickle in, I go up to my future mother-in-laws next week to start making my dress and I still haven't lost any weight.

I am currently silently freaking out.

I am sure this happens to most brides you get to that point where you start going 'oh no what if all these people I invited actually come' our budget only goes to 100 people max (realistically more like 90) I sent invites to about 120 and everyone keeps asking me if they can bring their partner. I said no to my first person the other day. I felt evil. I have already said to many casual 'sure! bring the whole family' and now I worry that we won't have enough seats. What if the benches don't fit on our neatly scooped out terrace. What if I don't restore these 30 or so chairs in time. What if I look fat and ugly on my big day because I have been too lazy to go to the gym. What if all my decor plans turn out looking like some tacky half baked job. I want to have a beautiful and amazingly cool wedding like this one or this one. what if we end up on a site like this

Yep definitely going nuts.

But my biggest concern is money. Yep money. I don't know what we were thinking getting married this year we totally can't afford it and I have a massive credit card debt that doesn't appear to be going anywhere. I need a job. Bad.

But in 87 days I will be getting married and it will be great. Because I love him and he loves me and sometime in the future we can love some babies and that will give me something else to freak out about